Funny Family Portraits
Hmm, I wonder what pattern she’s gonna knit next?
Caption by Lisa Alexiou
Who Are Those Dorks?
I wanted to write something funny today as I need a laugh and you may too. Rather than my usual ramblings, I thought what might amuse you is this family portrait of me with my parents and siblings.
I’m the kid at the back with the nice pageboy haircut mum claims to this day was flattering.
I’m not sure what date this family portrait was taken, but I’d say it’s circa 1974.
What Are They Wearing?
My younger brother, older sister and yours truly are all kitted out in one of mum’s hand knitted fairisle sweaters. Obviously all the rage in the UK at the time. At least I hope they were fashionable then. Either that or mum had a cruel sense of humor.
My sister, on the left with long hair, seems to be in her early teens and has been able to inject a bit of style into her orange fairisle tank number by pairing it with a white turtle-neck and some brown flares.
Mum and Dad don’t look too bad really, although I think they may be stuck in a 60s time warp and haven’t really got into the 70s thing yet. Maybe that’s why they look okay.
I’m hidden away at the back but I look a bit scared. Maybe Dad was squeezing my neck to keep me still. They always said I was a real fidget. I admit, I still am. My white, bony knees protrude from behind my brother. I suppose was wearing some kind of mini skirt with long white socks.
But let’s not think about that, let’s shift the attention to the little blond boy in front of me.
Why Do They All Look So Sad?
It’s my brother I feel sorriest for. I’m sure Mum chose the blue wool of the sweater to match his eyes. All very well and good, apart from the fact that he seems to have had a growth spurt in between the sweater being knitted and the photo being taken. Then there’s the trousers. Shudder. Diamond check patterns on trousers just don’t seem to be that flattering. No wonder he looks miserable.
Caption Competition
Yes, it’s fun to look back on old photos. Check out the Awkward Family Photos website if you’d like to see some family portraits that make my family look normal.
It’s all about the caption of course, so if you can come up with a funny caption for my family portrait please leave it in the comments for me and I’ll use my favorite. All the entrants, and the winner, will be rewarded with my undying love for making me giggle, no matter how cruel their comments.
Have popped up Lisa’s witty caption. If you have another idea let me know:)
Continuing The Family Tradition
I’m thinking about getting a professional photo taken of my young family done too.
Just wondering what I should make the kids wear to maximize their embarrassment in the years to come…
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27 Comments
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Your big sister looks the coolest of the lot of you. I bet your little brother hates this piccie of him!
What! Cooler than me in the white knee socks? Yes, poor bro, he had it hard, especially having two big sisters to rough him up a bit. Still, he turned out all right in the end and I’m happy to say that he sticks to solid blocks of color below the belt these days… at least I think so, he does play golf….
Having completed his latest movie Austin Powers spends an exciting day at home with the family!
Janet – Nice caption, yes, the library is great and the staged reading of the magazine by mum. A lovely relaxing afternoon.
Sean – They’ll probably be wetting themselves with laughter when they see I’ve outed their dweeby outfits to the world:)
Webwordslinger – Thanks! My parents didn’t own a record player but I’ve always been a bit of an Elvis fan!
Stafford – Oh dear, can’t stop laughing:) Well, I suppose you would look smug with a gorgeous looking family like that….
I always liked the fake library scene in the background in this one!
From the big sister.
the ‘cool’ big sister ;-)
Man, those brown flares were huge! Lol! Thanks for sharing.
;)
You’re family are gonna be mad when they hear that you called them Dorks. :)
Hi Sean, well, I’m calling myself one too so think I can get away with it. Plus the family that laughs together stays together… or did I misquote that?!
I think you look cute, page boy and all. Who were your favorite musical groups back in the day, eh?
Elvis the pelvis all the way. He still rocks:)
caption.
“Nigel wrote all those books, honestly!”
or, “Yes, we all read a lot.”
or,
“No, Nigel is the knitter in the family.”
Annabel, we all have photos like that that embarrass the hell out of us, so you are not alone. Sorry, but your dad, who I am sure is a great bloke, look so smug he deserves to be the fall guy!
Cheers and giggles!
Lol Stafford, well you’d look smug if your family was as hot as ours;) Love the captions, thank you!
Annabel, no matter WHAT you put them in today, they’ll all think they look just as dorky 35 years from now. So let them pick and then you can remind them later it was their choice!
Just have to say, I look at your little girl face and instantly see one of my favorite-in-the-world blonde cuties. If you were wearing her (scarecrow?) hair, it would be her! (But the pageboy IS adorable… not so far off from your current style, BTW! Mum was right!)
Caption: Will you please just hurry up and take the picture, so we can get out of these scratchy outfits we’ll only wear once?
Nancy – Haha! I knew someone was going to mention that I still have practically the same hairstyle anyway! Busted:) My daughter, Kiara, is turning 5 next month and I just cut her hair into a bob (no fringe) and now people keep thinking she’s a boy just because of the clothes she wears. There would have to be some heavy negotiating with her before we could agree on an outfit for a family portrait.
Love the caption too. I hope we only had to wear them once, can’t remember, think I’ve suppressed it:)
Yeah, they don’t make fake library scenes like that anymore. Cute!
Connie – Makes us look so well read though doesn’t it? Just in case anyone though we were a bunch of illiterates, this will set them straight!
Just love it to bits. I think it’s important to have a least one wholesome family photo, don’t you?. I’ve come up with a few captions because I really want to make you giggle uncontrollably, and where your eyes fill up with laughter tears and your guffawing makes people think your out of control. So here goes:
“The family that knits together stays together,” or
“Please help us, we’re sweating to death!”
and finally,
“mmm, I wonder what pattern she’s gonna knit next.”
Lastly, I love the magazine prop – very nicely done indeed. Cheers and thanks for sharing your family pic – obviously your family are good sports.
Well, it was all very close with the caption contest. Laughed lots at the Austin Powers reference and the itchy outfit one but decided to run with Lisa’s offering: “Hmm, I wonder what pattern she’s gonna knit next?” Thanks so much everyone for your ideas, I certainly had a great laugh out of this one and I think ,my family is still speaking to me too:)
Thanks for the kudos – I’ve never won a caption competition before. Glad it made you giggle – uncontrollably, I hope.
Nearly wet myself:) Sorry the prize wasn’t better but you’re a big winner in my book:)
Come on! You don’t look that bad. It was the age to look goofy. Actually, it was all pretty hip back then! I have worse photos, but I ain’t showin’ ’em to you!
Oh go on:) We’d love you for it!
I honestly thought this was one of those funny cards with captions..I couldn’t even work out which one was you until you pointed out the boney knees hahahaha Only joking! I have just had my son knitted with a brown and white striped dungarees…yes you heard right…knitted dungarees! I think that’s the whole point in dressing kids…dress them in the funkiest/’kitch-est’ outfit you can find and show them 18 years later haha
That wasn’t very good English…I haven’t just had my son knitted…I had something knitted for him…Incase that wasn’t clear! haha
I just remembered 1974 in my life. A deep dive in time line, made me think.
Thanks for the post
Alta